Apologies Are For Fridays

I am so sorry for my conduct on Fridays.
I don't know why I do it.
And I honestly try to be lively.
Try to be happy.
I want to have a good time.
But Friday.
Is when the weight of the week
Becomes too much to bear.

I thrive on mundane, useless taks.
Like filling in vocab lists.
Studying flash cards.
Solving math problems.
Because they are easy.
They are perfectly formatted.
So there is always an answer.
They're always explainable.

That's what monday through Friday is.
And after school ends.
All that is taken away.
And I'm glad.
Because I hate all of it.
And that's what causes my black moods.

And it doesn't help that it was us plus another.
That's when it gets really bad.
Especially because it was Britanny.
It makes me realize.
How un-bubbly a person I am.
You and Britanny are so happy.
While all I can do is watch and try.

Yes, I am jealous of her.

I'm so glad Carly came, though.
For some reason I just needed her there.
She wasn't going to come.
And that really bugged me.
I don't know why.
Usually Iwouldn't care.
But in that particular situation I'm glad she was.

Being closer to you.
And telling her about it.
Made me closer to her.

On Saturday.
If something was wrong.
I wish I could say that
I know you would tell me.
But I can't.
Because you won't.
Why don't you trust me?
I try to explain to you what's wrong with me.
I give you a public version of my wretched homelife.

So why won't you let me take care of you?
You've done it for me.
Even if you didn't know it.
So let me carry you.

I can't help but think.
It had something to do with whoever you called.
Or whoever called you.
Why won't you tell me?
I don't understand your necessity of keeping secrets.
If you asked I'd tell you mine.
Of which there are few.
Because I trust you.
I wish that was reciprocated.
It's hard to give when you don't recieve.

But if it was nothing.
If you were just tired.
Having a "Friday" on Saturday.
I understand.
I know I acted the same way.
And you didn't push it.

I'm sorry for Friday.