sometimes

When you don't stand on the floor,
you fall through the air.

Sometimes.
When little people live in glass houses.
They aren't strong enough to carry stones.
So they use toy guns.

The Only Person who makes Me Happy Is The Only One Who Can Make Me This Sad

I hate being right.
My dad's been gushing blood for hours in the kitchen,
and all I'm worried about is, I just realized,
I was always right.

Please.
Don't ever say the words I love you more.
Cause now you know it's not true.

I'd die for you.
I'm going to leave my home, my favorite places for you.
I sacrificed everything for you.
Just so we can hold hands in public.

I was sad before.
I told you.

I would take you back after everything.
After anything.
You know I have zero self control.
That when it comes to you, I'd rather die.

I will never leave you.
And that is where we differ.

Cause I would do it.
And I will.

Once upon a time you said you'd do anything to me I wanted.
Anything for me I wanted.

Kaitlyn, I will never leave you.
Forever means forever to me.

It just hurts to know that what I was afraid of,
It just too real.

I love you forver.
Kaitlyn.
There is no me after you.
That is the end of me.
When you leave.

You're Killing Me

You would do it.
You would forget me.
You'd love her.
You'd fuck him.
Cause they're much hotter.
And so much better than me in your eyes
More defined in society.
By the way they dress and wear their hair.

You would do it.

And you would leave.
To forget about me.

At that moment, you won't love me.
And you never have.

You'd come back.
And I'd want to take you in my arms.
But, hon.
Just know that I won't.

That's not me.
Even when I'm out of it,
Due to substance,
All I could talk about was you.
I only wanted to talk to you.
I wouldn't dream of touching anyone else.
No matter how famous they are.
No matter how good looking.
No matter what the charmer says.

A half hour.
I cried.
Cause I was convinced,
That was it.
Call ended.
Life over.

Being rational was never one of my strongsuits.

So, my raven.
The minute your fingers touch her skin.
The second your mouth send shivers up his spine.
I hope my face comes to mind.
I hope you wonder what it will look like,
Drained of blood.
Blank eyes open.
Lifeless.

With every word.
And every touch.
You're killing me.

We Lost. I Won.

We want dreaming to be of dreams
But we can't seem to get the sick pleasure of reality
out of our heads.

Sleep is not healing me.
It's just morphine.

Which is why I can't close my paper thin lids.
Because I don't want to.
Lie down, masochist, and think about your life.

At The End of The Tunnel

Those sixty seconds,
and being in your arms again,
make all the tears,
and all the shaking,
worth it.

Feeling your lips against mine,
I know we can get away.

Cause, baby,
you're all I'll ever need.
And you will be mine.
Forever.

You can carry me.

Get away.

And I will carry you.

Kaitlyn, I will never leave you.

Heroine

I love you enough to come out to everyone.
Including my soccer team.
Wow.
That was pretty scary.
But already there's people telling me I'm amazing.
It feels good to be brave.

When I said I felt the same way I jumped off a cliff.
I just hit the surface of the water.
Now I finally get see what everyones talking about.
The unkown.

I am heroine.
A savior, the main character of this novel we call life.
And you need me.
I am a drug.
I am the addiction everyones told you about.
I am heroine.

Black Birds Die Ugly

Cause I'm even less than second best.
And I don't like being me.

Delicious

They say they don't believe.
But then they will fall.
Way deep down.
Cascading into a pit.
Walled in red.
Painted over with black.
Pierced with pricks of light that blind you just long enough.
Just long enough to forget.
Forget the red walls.
The black paint.
And the fact that there is a world.
There is a perverted, apathetic world.
That doesn't care.
What's one more head of blond hair?
What's one more set of dull blue eyes?
What's one more tragedy?
Who wants to think about it?
Who has time?
Am I the only who thinks about the evening death toll victims on the news.
That realizes these were mothers, and girlfriends, and lovers.
Brothers, daughters, best friends.
It could be me.
And if our lives hadn't intersected.
You would hear my name counted among the dead.
And you wouldn't even flinch.
You wouldn't even think about it twice.
I was a daughter, a girlfriend, a sister,a best friend.
I had a life.
I had feelings.
I have no life.
I have no feelings.
I drift in a void of blackness.
And you hear my name.
The obligated remember.
The uninvolved don't acknowledge.
And you walk on free.

My lips kiss those of an unwanted warrior bleeding on the green.
In the commons of Rome.
I hold the hand of a girl lost in an alley in New York.
The man pulls up his pants.
He walks free.

And I bleed.

I can never shrug off the weight.
I will never escape the pressure.
I will always be this.
This thing.
Not even human.
Cause I haven't mastered the brusqueness.
Haven't found the ability to turn to stone.
With a touch of your finger tips,
I crumble.
I'm just waiting for you to start your dusting.
Cause you couldn't possibly want me.
Why would anyone?
I have nothing.
I will always have nothing.
I will always be nothing.
It's only a matter of time.
Before you figure it out.
That I'm just not it.
Then I will choose a method.
And take on a new lable of victim.
Dead.