We'll Always Be We, Never I

You have no idea how much it meant to me today
Babe, you are one in a million
You make me, made me so happy.
I want to be with you forever.

Crave

Alone.
Definition: not with you.
When I'm alone.
All that's running through my head,
Is this is nice. (or not so nice)
But I just want to be with my girlfriend.
When I'm with you,
All that's running through my head is
Please let this never end.

Unkissed lips.
Grindless hips.
We miss you.
Me and my lonely hands.

There's Only One

Kaitlyn, you make me so happy.
You make me feel like I have a purpose.
I was so completely lost and useless before.
And now I feel like I've found all I'm looking for.

Babe, you make me feel like nothing else matters.
Cause nothing can compare to you.

I love you.
Three words don't seem big enough.

Steam

I love you.
I'm sorry if I made you angry.
I was listening to your every word.
I just didn't have input.
Your voice calms me sometimes.
I bet you didn't know..
Half the time when I call you it's cause somethings wrong.
Half the time when you say hello, it's hard for me to talk.
Cause tears are running down my face.
And as soon as you start talking I feel fine.
I'm so sorry babe.
I love you.
I don't want you to be angry.
I look forward to tomorrow when we can sleep together.
Cause I really love that.

Kaitlyn, nothing matters more to me than you.

Only For You

I understand where you're coming from.
But how could you even think that?
Embarrassed?
Of course not.
I could care less what society, people in general think.

Why haven't I come out more people?
Cause there's no one to tell..
I don't share my thoughts and feelings with people I don't care about.
I would tell Taylor if we were still close...
I told Carly because she's my closest friends after you.
After that, theres...

My team.
The reason I'm scared.
That's why.
I'd be basically kicked out.
And they own a part of me.
I have a responsibility to them.
They're my family, babe.
I go through so much with them.
Some of the people on my team.
Are the closest friends I will ever have.
I've know them for my whole life.
We grew up together.
I'm scared that these people I depend on,
Will take off running when they find out.

As I write this,
I hate myself.
I know these sound like pathetic, and insuffiecient reasons.
I'm scared to do this.
But I will.
Because you're worth it.
Please, babe .
Just give me time.
I can do this.

Rambling Is What Made Novels

I want a cold sore.
Right now.
It's not as if I haven't already been exposed.

Matt's story made me horny.
I'm broken vs. Please Fix Me.
Read it.
There's nothing liked slash written by a guy.

Love.Sugar.Babe.Baby.
You should call me that out loud.
I like it.
I like you.
I love you.

This was unworthy of a blog post but whatever.

Toe Nails to Hair Folicles

If you were scary as hell.
Unmedicated.
Ugly.
Insecure.
Mean.
Unfriendly.

As long as you let me in.

Kaitlyn, I'd love you always.
It's not something I can control.

[Un]Silent Plea

Please.
Whisper that you love me.
That you'll never leave me.
That I'm more than enough.
That I'm beautiful.
That you do care.

Now stop rolling your eyes at this.
And wipe that smile off.
And stop comparing me to your other friends.
If you think I'm kidding.
You are sadly mistaken.

I need you, Kaitlyn.
How much do you need me?

Whatever

I am insecure.
Whether you like it or not.
And you don't exactly help
By feeding on it.
I am a girl.
I can take physical pain.
To the highest extent.
And I don't care what anyone thinks about me.
But in this iron hard shell.
There's weak spots.
Things I care about.
And you are the weakest spot of all.
You should be glad,
If I said I didn't believe you.
It would mean I didn't care.
I only do this because maybe it would give you insight.
That's not true, though.
I would delete all this.
Except I'm too lazy to move it.
And I need somewhere to vent.
I regret ever shwoing it to you.
Yup I did have to write a highly emotional entry right now.
Maybe you won't bother to look since I told you I was deleteling this.
Not all of us have the ability to not care.
Not everyone believes in themself as much as you do.
I have almost zero real confidence.
Except on the soccer field.

Everyone expects me to go far.
I expect to fail.
It's not fair that you're perfectly calm right now.
And I'm.... like this.
So be gentle.
As someone once said, I'm already broken.

And whiny, and needy, and bitchy, and depressed.

Sorry I'm not good enough for you.

Nothing Else

"When you're with her you loose all priorities and sense of time. It's like you have to squeeze every moment of being with her and loose track of everything."

Wow, mom. You've never been so right.
When I'm with you I think of nothing else.
And you are my everything.

Which can inconvienint for my feet and my back and my mom.