Whatever

I am insecure.
Whether you like it or not.
And you don't exactly help
By feeding on it.
I am a girl.
I can take physical pain.
To the highest extent.
And I don't care what anyone thinks about me.
But in this iron hard shell.
There's weak spots.
Things I care about.
And you are the weakest spot of all.
You should be glad,
If I said I didn't believe you.
It would mean I didn't care.
I only do this because maybe it would give you insight.
That's not true, though.
I would delete all this.
Except I'm too lazy to move it.
And I need somewhere to vent.
I regret ever shwoing it to you.
Yup I did have to write a highly emotional entry right now.
Maybe you won't bother to look since I told you I was deleteling this.
Not all of us have the ability to not care.
Not everyone believes in themself as much as you do.
I have almost zero real confidence.
Except on the soccer field.

Everyone expects me to go far.
I expect to fail.
It's not fair that you're perfectly calm right now.
And I'm.... like this.
So be gentle.
As someone once said, I'm already broken.

And whiny, and needy, and bitchy, and depressed.

Sorry I'm not good enough for you.